How to build a connection with anyone

Hi networkers,

Let’s talk about connections. You and me, we all crave them.

As students, we crave it when we send that email to the 20th recruiter, praying he/she will be the one to reply.

And as people, we crave it in the relationships we seek.

But whether it’s our professional or personal lives, the question still stands, how the hell do we build those connections?

Last week, I came across just the video that answered this from Lewis Howes.

In it, he interviews the author of a best-selling book on communication, and the advice given is priceless.

In today’s article, I’ll share with you the 5 takeaways from the video on building connections.

🏁 Here’s the route for this week:

🎙️ Build a Connection with Anyone

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In the podcast, the author talks about Super Communicators.

As the name suggests, they’re people who are good at communicating.

Think of that person who can walk into a room and strike up a conversation with just about anyone.

But make no mistake, it isn’t a natural talent. Super Communicators have intentionally trained their conversation skills.

Below are the 5 traits mentioned that identify what separates a Super Communicator from average people.

💡 Trait #1: They know the 3 conversation types

Your talks will always fall into 1 of 3 buckets.

In practical conversations, you’re discussing problems and solutions to solve those problems.

In emotional conversations, you’re not solving anything, instead, you’re looking to have your emotions validated.

In social conversations, you’re discussing morals, values, and principles, these talks can get quite deep.

Super Communicators are aware of these types. They identify early in a conversation which of the 3 bucket’s they’re in and adapt accordingly.

💡 Trait #2: They ask a lot more questions

The video states that on average, a Super Communicator will ask 10x - 20x more questions than a regular person.

They understand that to have someone become interested in you, you must first show interest in that person.

💡 Trait #3: They laugh way more often

Apparently, Super Communicators laugh much more. About 5x more than the average person.

But it isn’t because they find more things funny, it’s how they show a willingness to connect.

When you laugh with someone, you’re telling them non-verbally - “I’m enjoying my time with you and want to continue.”

Super Communicators understand this and use laughter as a tool to build a good rapport with people.

💡 Trait #4: They aren’t afraid of vulnerability

A lot of interactions in our lives are a one-and-done deal and it’s mostly because people are too afraid to get past the small talk.

True connections, the ones that last and develop into something long-term, are built on either passion or vulnerability, and Super Communicators know this.

Instead of wasting time on small talk, they’ll ask questions about the other person’s hobbies or personal projects to pinpoint common interests.

And once that common interest is found, the rest of the conversation tends to flow easily.

💡 Trait #5: They do active listening

Super Communicators are great at handling difficult conversations because they practice active listening.

If they don’t understand something, they’ll:

Step 3 is crucial because if you can make the other person confirm that you’re both on the same page, it shows that you’re genuinely listening.

My advice to you:

You can easily start implementing these 5 habits. The next time you’re looking to connect with someone, try the following:

See everyone next week! 👋

-Michael Ly

As this community grows, the newer readers may miss out on articles I’ve written in the past.

And I can only rewrite the same topics so many times.

So to keep everyone up-to-date, you can find my most-read articles at the bottom of each article!

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