The #1 way to land referrals

💼 Topic: The #1 way to land referrals

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Time and time again, I’ve seen students ask for referrals all wrong.

Here are the 2 most common mistakes:

With #1 - it’s simply too soon. You’re essentially strangers, and people don’t refer strangers, they refer friends or acquaintances at the very least.

With #2 - 1 coffee chat isn’t enough to build rapport, and asking them verbally will only make them feel uncomfortable.

Now, there are exceptions.

For example, I’ve seen people post their referrals on LinkedIn.

But the exception isn’t the rule.

In most occasions, you’ll need a different approach.

That’s what we’ll dive into today.

The best referrals are the ones you don’t need to ask for.

But how do you make them want to refer you without asking?

It’s by showing them so much value that they’d feel stupid not to.

Here’s the playbook.

Step 1: Sending the cold message

The first outreach should be genuine, and feel low-effort for them to respond to.

Here’s what I mean by that:

Genuine: Anyone can claim “to be interested.” I went a step further by asking specifically what I was interested in - the finance to tech transition.

Low effort: Your call to action should just be a coffee chat. Make it simple for them to reply to.

Step 2: Doing the coffee chat

You scheduled your first coffee chat. Now what?

Now, you prepare 5 or more good questions.

All the questions should be about them, their role, or their company.

By putting the other person in the spotlight, you guarantee a fun chat.

Not only that, but they’re more likely to remember you because you made them feel important.

Step 3: Setting up a follow-up

Most referrals are handed out in the 2nd or 3rd chats.

But students struggle with setting those up.

The biggest roadblock I hear?

So you ran out of questions, I’ve been there too.

But setting up a 2nd chat isn’t about having more questions, it should be about updating them.

Updating them on what you might ask?

On the advice they gave you.

That’s right.

The best way to set up a 2nd chat is to ask them for actionable advice in the 1st chat.

The advice should be relevant to the role, something like:

Then, once you’ve acted the advice, reach out to them and ask for a follow-up. It shows that you’re not all talk.

Plus, this creates a nice track record of relevant work related to your desired role.

Step 4: Referral time

Finally, the magic moment.

A few things can happen at this point.

Best case scenario

You’re no longer a stranger, you feel like a friend to them.

Not only do they feel comfortable with giving you a referral, they WANT TO.

These 2 things combined can make them offer a referral voluntarily.

Alternate scenario

What if they don’t offer a referral?

That’s fine, people aren’t mind readers, they probably didn’t even know you wanted one to begin with.

So, you’ll just ask them. Say something like,

Asking for a referral is totally acceptable at this point.

They’ll either say yes, or offer to introduce you to someone who will.

From giving referrals to asking for them, I’ve been on both sides on the coin.

Getting referrals in a long-term game, but the 4 steps outlined above is your surest way to get one as fast as possible.

That’s all for today. If you enjoyed this post, share it with a friend!

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See you next Tuesday 🤝

-Michael Ly

1:1 Coaching: Looking to land an internship or new grad role in the next 3-6 months. If you want to work with me on this, fill out the questionnaire here.

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